Explorer’s Log Day 1:
I have entered the Alley in search of the cure for a true scourge in our society. Yes, I mean itchy skin and beardruff. Legends have been told of an animal in this Alley that would provide a magical elixir to cure these ails. I do not intend to leave the alley until I find it.
Day 3:
Taking my time to overcome the terrain of dumpsters and line cooks taking a smoke break, I came upon the first animal. It was an Alley Hippo and it was no help. It merely chewed 3-day old spinach in silence, so I pressed on.
Day 7:
We will not speak of the Alley Sloth. The horrors. I will never look at a jar of pickles the same way again.
Day 12:
When all hope seemed lost, I finally found it. Tucked just behind laundromat, between the artisan bologna shop and the $3 store, I found the Alley Cat sitting on an 80s style boombox. He said his name was Ruckus and said if I could dance like the one guy from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, he would give me what I seek. So I hopped and swung my arms to the ska music in my head and was rewarded with a bottle of oil bearing Ruckus’ name. The scent was intoxicating and the oil soothed my now-long beard. I thanked him and ran from the alley, bursting into the sunlight with the softest, most nourished beard in the land. The news media were there waiting for me. A reporter thrust a microphone at me and asked me how good the Ruckus oil is. I stared into the camera and replied, “BERRY.”
Tl;dr - this oil is PHENOMENAL. It smells like fresh-picked strawberries and it’s not too sweet and is nice and complex on the dry down. Most importantly it feels amazing in my beard. You absolutely must try this!